"My wife is the accompaniest to the glee club..."

So I went to traffic court recently.  Yeah,  I'm a criminal.  But not really,  I was just there for forgetting my driver's license. Sheesh.

My court case was whatever.  It was the case before me that was interesting.

The man's name was Mr. Siggard.  He sat on the front row of the audience, alone.  His hair neatly slicked back, a cane, a briefcase.  One hand cupped to his ear.  Listening for his turn. The rest of us juvies were kickin' it in the furthest row back by the bailiff. 

The courtroom reminded me of Mayberry of of The Andy Griffith Show...flag behind the judge. oak decor, the court secretary had her hair up like she just walked out of a fifties magazine.

"Mr. Siggard, please come forward."

He shuffled up to the defendant seat and started just spouting off excuses.

"Judge I'm gettin' old and my eyesight is not too good and I've driven on that road for years.  I was running late.  I was tired. I needed to wash my car windows.   I was on my medication. That cop just sits by that sign and waits for people.  In fact,  I think he changed the speed limit in the last five years and no one told me and besides all of that my wife is the accompanist to the glee club!"

"Your wife is the accompanist to the glee club?"

"Well, there's more...my glasses have an outdated prescription and.."

"Mr. Siggard."

"The wife,  she was antsy because I couldn't find her umbrella and.."

"Mr. Siggard!"

The list of excuses came to a halt.

"Mr. Siggard,  there will be time for a defendant statement later."

The judge shuffled his papers, talked with the secretary,  asked the man some legal questions as a formality.

"Now Mr. Siggard,  you can give your defendant statement."

Mr. Siggard's eyes held welled up tears of indignation.  He was shaking as he slowly bent down to grab his wood paneled briefcase.

In a hoarse choked voice he gave a single line of defense.

"My wife is the accompanist to the glee club..."

I felt desperate. Hollow for him.   And I found myself choking as well. 

 I felt so empty when the judge said,  "Mr. Siggard,  your statement does not logically contend with the accusations and violations.  I am therefore charging you with a $350 fine and 50 service hours."

He painfully shuffled out the door.  The judge called the next case.  The next accusations were read.


A little piece of me left with Mr. Siggard.

And I wondered where his wife's umbrella could be.